A voicehearer’s path ~

Archive for the ‘violence begets violence’ Category

Oslo ~

It seems that this is proof that violence begets violence. This young man, in an insane concern for the multi-culturalization of his own country turned to extreme violence as an answer. When he had bombed the buildings and already killed, he then went to a youth camp to kill more. This time children, young people whom he considered the future leaders. 93 dead in the entire debacle. His purpose? To waken his people to the dangers of allowing the immigration of people of Islamic background. But the children he killed were Norwegian, not necessarily immigrants, not necessarily close to the source of his angst.

That, of course, is the difficulty with answering violence with violence. The people we hurt are usually not the ones that hurt us. The camp wasn’t of a religious nature, it was a Labor Party camp. Yes, he blames that party for the multicultural stance of his country, but these are not people that espouse violence in any way. Will his actions help his cause? Probably not, in fact, it may hurt it in many ways, and for years to come.

The violence that begat this violence is blamed on extremist Muslim jihadists, and because they claim the Islamic faith as their own, they taint the view of much or the world regarding the Muslims who truly see their faith as the House of Peace. There are, of course, things I am uncomfortable with, regarding the Islamic faith. I’ve never pretended otherwise. Devout women of the faith must wear the Burka and Hijab to cover themselves from head to toe. This engenders a lack of sexual responsibility among the men, as it’s “all right” to rape women whose skin is exposed. But, violence toward the peaceful practitioners of this faith is not going to make this go away, and the violence that was engendered wasn’t even toward Islamic folk, it was toward secular Norwegians.

Ouch! That’s the problem with answering violence with violence, those who get hurt, and in this case dead, are not the cause of the pain in the first place. If the violence did not spread like fireworks to injure others not involved, I am not sure any of us would do more than just stand back and let those involved fight it out. But, here is a prime example of the very explosiveness of such a stance. The violence that rocked Oslo was not a direct answer to Extremist Islam, it was an outpouring of angst on people only indirectly involved. And it was children who paid the price in this awful debacle.

It seems that no matter what side this is fought on, children are the targets, that is, itself, most frustrating. Why children? Is it because the soldiers and infighters in both extremes are nothing but cowards? They lack the balls to fight each other on equal ground, so kill the children? I have never had much patience with child killers, I have less now. The children are used to make us cringe, I know, and it is succeeding. I have come to believe that, whether extremist Islamist, or extremist anti-Muslim, the death penalty should ensue every time a child is raked into their fight.

Is Spanking Wrong?

I don’t know. I ask that question a lot. There doesn’t really seem to be an alternative that works with certain ages. I do feel that it should be a last resort, when you have tried all other avenues, as it should never feel like the first thing Mom or Dad will do if I make a mistake. In fact, it should not be an answer if it is truly a mistake. I did a little child rearing, with the daughter of a man I loved dearly, and was never certain that I did it “right”. So, this is not an article to give advice as much as raise the question. What I have seen in the generations since Spock first spoke against spanking is enough to make you wonder if that set of instructions was right for the children.

I don’t believe an actual “beating” ever does any good. The once or twice that I actually spanked the child I was helping with had more to do with what would happen if she repeated the actions for which she was spanked. The first was running across a busy road without looking. She nearly got run over at the point at which I spanked her, as much for running into the road when I told her not to,  and told her that had she gotten run over it would hurt much more than a spanking. The other time was when she kicked a playmate that was in her way. She had kicked her playmate in the eye, leaving a horrid bruise, and needed to know how much that hurt. I dare say the spanking hurt less than the bruised eye, but was enough to let her know that that was not acceptable behavior. At all other times, I preferred to use “time outs” or other means of expressing disapproval as I felt then, as I do now, that spankings were a last resort.

I do agree that violence often breeds violence, which is the argument against spanking to begin with, I simply felt that the only answer to her violence was to feel the consequences in a swift and effective way. One of my greatest concerns for this child that I loved as though she were my own, was that I wanted her to know that actions have consequences. I hope she learned that. And that is the rub, isn’t it? We never know that what we have tried to teach has actually been learned except with the living out of the life so affected. I know this hasn’t been an answer to the question, just a musing over what I did and whether it “worked”. I hope someday we will know the best and truest way to deal with each child so effectively that they will desire the way of love rather than the way of ruin.

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