I approach this subject in fear and trepidation. I have never married, so speaking of faithfulness within that institute is something I can comment on only from observation. So, what am I doing here to begin with? It seems a New Jersey pastor has recently focused on social networking, and Facebook in particular, as being at least partially responsible for infidelity among believers to the point that he has ordered his church’s leadership to give up their Facebook accounts, and is planning on counseling his congregants to do the same.
Yes, I will concede that there is probably a certain amount of temptation involved when old flames reconnect. But, I seriously doubt if Facebook, or any other social network caused either party to flirt or meet up. I am not saying that the vehicle, i.e.Facebook, didn’t make it easier to reconnect, but then, there are class reunions and other social events with the same sort of reconnection as their sole aim, do we need to ban them as well? More to the point, do marrieds need to sequester themselves from society to remove all temptation? Since I never married, I cannot testify to the necessity of such extreme measures or not, but I can testify that there is no social vehicle, either of yesteryear or today that is responsible for whether you or anyone else can keep your promises.
And that is my point. How do you, as a spiritual individual guarantee your own promises? Promises are, at the very least, tough to keep. That is something to which I can attest. Making a promise should be something you do as seldom as possible, and with much thought, for your word is your bond. It is your honor. And you and you alone are the only one that can keep the promises you make. Marriage is a lifetime promise, and therefore tougher to keep than, perhaps, promising to stop and see someone on your way home from work, but your ability to keep those promises, no matter how trivial or time consuming they may be, is all about who you are.
The 10 Commandments of the Torah, honored by Christians and Jews as binding for one’s behavior, (the Jews have several more to account for, some 600+), contain an admonition against adultery, reneging on your promise in marriage, but no over all commandment against breaking promises. That seems to me a shortfall, for, one’s word is one’s integrity, and one’s integrity is every bit as important as one’s willing compassion toward one’s fellow travelers. So, the point of this commentary? We need to quit blaming everything else for our shortfalls, and face the fact that we alone are responsible for the promises we keep.