A voicehearer’s path ~

Archive for the ‘emotional’ Category

Choose, but choose wisely ~

Rape

It’a all about the right of the woman to choose whether she will carry the child within her that will remind her, possibly for years to come, of the most traumatic incident in her life. Emotions boil over on this topic and it is often difficult to see the real issues for all the steam we produce. I stated in this debate, that one of the things that bothers me about a man speaking out on rape with any positive twist may indicate that that man has himself raped and is rationalizing in his own mind a heinous act that should receive the death penalty. However, if we look at all the permutations of the act of rape, we might find that few men would survive. Many men do not believe that women mean no when they say no. And women are pounded by guilt if their bodies respond with orgasm when the sex is against their will.

I must say that just because you know someone who is the product of rape whose life has been positive, does not mean that all children of rape will be able to rise above the trauma of this type of conception. Neither you nor I are in a position to judge. Compassion for the woman would give her the option of choosing whether to carry this fetus to term. In fact, the very option of being able to choose may be the positive turn of events that will allow her to carry the child of trauma without her own feelings reflecting on the development of the fetus.

Studies have shown in the past that a mother’s rejection of the fetus in utero reflects on that child’s ability to learn and live a life that is productive. That being the case, do we want to force a woman to bring a child into the world she cannot by the very nature of it’s traumatic conception, accept? To so force the issue may be doing both the child and the mother a grave disservice. All factors considered, the right of the mother to choose whether she will carry the fetus to term is paramount. We need to let her choose what she will do.

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Context ~

Facts, figures, comments, judgments regarding circumstances and actions: in all of these, context is key to understanding, and understanding is key to compassion. We here in the States are in the midst of another round of political hash because we will be voting (voicing our opinions, not actually casting a vote) for the next president. The presumption, of course, with the Electoral College is that those more “in the know” make the final and definitive choice in leadership for the next four years. There may be merit in the system, as it is not probable with all the campaigning that we the people will be able to find the truth regarding all of the factors that go into who can lead us best. The problem, of course, is that, no matter what method of choice prevails, the likelihood of corruption of the process is high in the extreme.

Compassion is my first concern, the underpinning of my life as a way of thinking and acting. Which candidate has the most compassion in his way of interacting with the world? I, frankly am not interested in the “fluff” that is often part of this process of choosing. If there is compassion in the man’s thought processes, the leadership will likely take the higher road. At least that is my own take on the subject. However, how do we measure whether there is compassion when there is so much extraneous mud flying through the air that vision is totally obscured?

There have, in the past several years, popped up on the internet, some very savvy sites whose stated aims are to show the voting records and habits of the candidates in the running. Truthout.org comes to mind, though there are others, to be sure. One should, but often doesn’t, look at these sites and examine them all for the best information. I cannot tell you how to vote, I wouldn’t even try. I can tell you that I hope you will remove emotions from your choosing procedure and go with the candidate that looks to do the best for the country and her people.

Look at the conditions that prevailed 4 years ago, look at the prevailing conditions now, is market free-fall something you want to see repeated? What is the best course to make sure that does not happen again, and who is the best candidate to follow that course of action? Look at all of the context before you make a decision and cast your vote. Oh, and being a woman definitely influences where my opinion lies. I don’t want my sisters to need to travel to other countries to get an abortion if that is appropriate to their lives. There are other factors that being a woman makes pertinent, I am not married, nor will I marry, I do not want someone else choosing my way of life for me. Independent though I consider myself, I am stuck with the Democrats for now.

Frog totems ~

Frogs are cleansing, they call the rain with their gutteral croak. They have a marvelous affinity to water, both it’s cleansing aspect, and it’s emotive aspect. The Frog is the Spirit Keeper of the Element water because of this. They are wonderful creatures in scientific terms as well, being so sensitive to the environment that they will show up with deformities and anomalies when anything is wrong with the water supply. They act, in fact, like the canary does for miners, letting us know something is wrong, and that we should be paying attention when they are suffering.

According to Carl Jung, water is symbolic to humans of the subconscious, any time we dream of water, our subconscious is attempting to bring us a message of something we already know, but are ignoring.

Frogs can jump 20 times their body size in one leap. As adults they breathe from their lungs and absorb oxygen through their moist skins. They use their tongues, which are covered in a sticky mucus, to catch prey. If they eat something poisonous they regurgitate their entire stomach. Tadpoles can live out of water as long as they remain moist. They will eat their own tails and it is absorbed as it grows into a frog. Frogs can be hypnotized by shining a light at both of their eyes or being placed on their back and having their stomach gently stroked.

Frog understands how stress can create a whirlwind of negative energies, and reminds us to refresh ourselves so we won’t get burnt out. It brings cleansing power through tears of sorrow or joy. Frog knows the importance of releasing our pains with a shower of cleansing water so we can transform into who we are meant to be.  From animaltotem.com

The Expectation of happiness ~

How did we get here? This “place” we are in, where the expectation of every one is that all will be “happy” and sunshine and fun? It seems that we are seeing more depression and anger in our children than in any generation before us. Is this the result of that expectation? I do wonder about that. After all, has any generation before us been so insistent that life give us these things? Think about that. If we had sunshine 365 days a year, our world would die a very parched death. Wouldn’t we be better to teach our children to live a balanced life where there is both sunshine and rain?

It seems that it is only the past couple of decades in which depression has even been a diagnosis where children are concerned, and it is something that should be taken quite seriously when the possibility of it exists at all. I do believe it may be past time for us to look at what we are doing to our children, and to ourselves, when we put very unreal, and extreme expectations into our own lives and those for whom we are responsible. We expect little Johnny, or little Sally, to excel in school, or in sports or in beauty, dear God, and are we even thinking of what we are doing to them when we do this?

It seems past time to accept every person, child and adult, as they present themselves, and to love them without condition, right where they are. So Johnny only gets C’s, and little Sally is never going to be a prima ballerina, and maybe little Eddie is not the handsomest boy in his class. Is that child any less a human being, any less needful of love? I don’t think so, nor, perhaps, do you. Yet, in our ever more competitive world, we continue to place unreasonable expectations on both ourselves and our loved ones.

It is, in fact, this “expectation”, this need to create unreal goals in our lives, that is ruining the chance at any genuine happiness that might be available to any of us, anywhere. I am not saying that one should not have goals, however, I am saying that those goals need to be set in such a way that the person who sets them, or for whom they are set, does not feel that they are a complete failure if those goals are not met. It is not good when our children feel that they are “bad” when they do not meet our expectations. I am aware that this is a difficult adjustment to make. We want our youth to “behave” well around others, we want our lives to have some sense of order, something that is quite difficult when we have children that cannot live up to even moderate goals of behavior. I am also aware that we need to look at what is causing the misbehavior.

We cannot expect perfection of others if we cannot give it ourselves. And, I for one, have not yet found perfection within myself. That is my point. I want a life that is balanced, and even that is difficult at times to achieve, yet, with perseverance, and mindfulness that there are rainy days in all lives, and with a concentrated effort on ignoring all the hyper commercials, I can adjust my goals to reflect the reality of what I can do, not what I cannot. Perhaps those goals can also reflect what we can have, rather than what we cannot, and then, possibly, find the happiness that realistic goals can bring.

Oracles ~

Because of the voices I hear all the time, I have explored areas that are discouraged in the Bible and other sacred writings. There are some things that I have discovered in my exploration that may help others in their curiosity about this phenomenon.  Most who read oracles are asking about the future. This is a less than optimal way to use this tool from the very start. Your future is not written in stone. You rewrite your future every time you learn a valuable life lesson, as your path will change because of your new knowledge. Just to hammer that home, if you do not learn the lessons you came in to learn, your path is extremely predictable, and therefore readable by fortune tellers anywhere.

One of the basics to learn is something taught in Buddhism, and encouraged in Y’shua’s teachings when they are looked at from a different perspective than taught by most Christian teachers. That is detachment from outcomes, emotions and material goals. Without detachment from all these, your own filters are clogged, and you cannot be shown any of the truths that will guide you toward greater growth in spiritual things. Without attachment to outcomes, you can be shown the right way to proceed in most situations without the assistance of an oracle.

The highest lessons, i.e. compassionate living at all times (hard lessons to say the very least), are the goal. If we can learn to love in all circumstances, letting the Holy Spirit shine through, no matter what, we will have accomplished what the Buddhists call buddhahood.  This does not mean we become milquetoasts in our lives, it simply means we do nothing from anger, envy, greed or lust. Every action we take is from compassion. This is the release the Buddha spoke of when addressing the freedom from troubling emotions. At such a point in our development, we no longer need oracles, we can see clearly what must be done, and when.

Freedom from material goals is likewise a must for all who would have need of an oracle, for when we have desires that cloud our vision we will not be able to read an oracle correctly. This, then, is why the cautions in the Sacred Writings regarding the use of oracles. It is not that they are inaccurate, it is that we cannot read them accurately. It requires a Christlike or Buddha-like compassion for the well-being of all to be able to see with the clarity that lets us read what the oracle is telling us. Most of us have not attained that level of compassion. I am right in there with everyone else on this, so, though I do use oracles to check the map to see what I have missed in my own development, I refuse to attempt to read the future, mine or anyone else’s.

Another factor that I have found is that, an oracle consulted may, and often does, reveal the roadblocks in a person’s development, rather than revealing the future. Unless you are on a dedicated path, you will seldom want to know this information. It is often painful to look at, and requires a willingness to do a scorching moral inventory of one’s own failings. If you had been willing to do that inventory, you would have already seen the roadblock thus revealed. So, as shown here, though oracles do have legitimate use, our own failings render them useless for our most pressing requests, where our emotions or desires may, and often do, get in the way.

Love in Action

I have long believed that God cannot actually see us when we have surrounded ourselves with the smoke of our own discord. This is not to say that God does not know we are there, just that we cannot be seen because of our own smoke. This is difficult to explain, and rest assured, the moment we reach out to God from whatever place spiritually that we are, God is able to reach us.

This has come to mind for me recently because of the little boy that lives where I live. He is certain at times that he is greater than anyone else in the world, and at others is like a little waif, sure he is unseen by anyone. (Rather normal for a child who has been abused and is in recovery.) This observation led me to think in terms of the fact that each and every one of us, no matter where we are in our beliefs toward God, is important to the Holiest One, equally important. I know that those who practice daily their faithfulness toward him would question why. But there are many reasons to say that this is the case.

First, and the  most obvious reason, is that we are all in this world together, and what affects one, affects all. For instance, should that little boy grow into adulthood still hurting from the abuse he received as a little one, he is vulnerable to becoming one of the abusers, perhaps even to the extreme of being a killer. That would be a terrible shame and source of sorrow for all who love this child, including God.

Aside and beyond the fact that this child’s pain will affect us all, even if the extremes never happen, there is the knowledge that the call of all the major faiths is compassion toward one another. Even if he does not kill, how can he grow in compassion when his soul is so grievously injured? It is the lack of compassion in the hearts of humans that leads to all the major injuries of soul that humans inflict upon each other. By the time the children grow into adults, it is often difficult to find in our hearts any compassion for the nasty individual they have become. We need to truly search the sources of anger and hatred in our world, and find viable means to eradicate them if we are to get to a point where all can reach out in compassion toward each other.

We need to act in a healing fashion toward our children so that they do not become darkened in the smoke of their own discord. Yet, looking at modern psychotherapy, are we even close? I do not know. We focus these children, when they do receive counseling, on the injuries, with the idea that it is in facing those sources of pain that they can be healed. Are we right? Maybe, but not likely. If you look around at the world at large today, there is little to support the idea that such therapeutic means are affective. How does genuine healing occur? What is needed?

Hmmm, well, it would seem that we need to go back to the great teachers and look at the whole concept of compassion, and find what truly brings compassion (love in action) into the children’s lives and hearts. How do you teach compassionate action? And how does compassion in our hearts translate to right action in the children’s lives? Part of the answer would seem to be in enabling those children to feel secure enough to feel love. For, if the child cannot feel, they cannot empathize, they cannot put themselves in the shoes of others and share their humanity on a heart to heart basis. And, with all the profiling that seems so prolific, that, it seems, is the very lack in the perpetrators of crimes against humanity. They do not see themselves as human, or they do not see the rest of us as human. Gads, we truly do have a long way to grow!!!!We need to grow enough to be able to convey God’s love to all, no matter the condition of the heart.

Empathy ~

This is probably going to be a bit of a rambling post, partly because it has been a while since I posted, and partly because Empathy is such an enigmatic thing to speak of. It seems that I am finding out that the one thing that makes us actually human may be empathy. It is the very thing that may render us redeemable to Hashem. What is it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy

Simply put, as the first lines of this link provide, empathy is the ability to share another beings emotions or feelings. My friend of many years has a grandson, wonderful and charming little boy, who has difficulty feeling empathy for others. He is 4, there is still hope, he has been traumatized by abuse to such an extent that it will take a while to heal him. But healing is a must. This has become more and more apparent in our research regarding this most important capacity of the human spirit. It is apparently Empathy that is the one thing that is missing in the serial criminal, those who can commit heinous crimes against other humans and feel neither remorse or repentance as a need.

It is apparently not all that difficult to injure the human spirit to the point that the capacity to empathize has been destroyed. Perhaps that is why it has not been an issue until this last generation or so. I have been so worried that we were fouling up in too many ways, and that this generation was so mixed up that we needed to cut bait and start over. But, here we are finding that empathy may be the one thing that could retrieve what little of us is worth retrieving.

This article,http://eqi.org/ray1.htm, explains that we can, indeed, teach Empathy to our children. That it is actually a neglected part of our education, a crucial facet that has been neglected because of the emphasis on intellectuality. Gads! What fools we mortals be! If this is true, then this society has created it’s very own monsters. We have, in our rush to teach objective science, and neglect emotional health, created the very people that cannot relate to their own emotions, and therefore cannot relate to others as equal, and having the right to exist unmollested. Heaven help us, we need to rethink the educational process completely!

http://wondertime.go.com/learning/article/baby-empathy.html Is a well written, rather short article that shows the importance of empathy and when it begins to develop in children.

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