It is a nasty little game, and gets no one anywhere. No matter if it is blaming self or blaming other, the game is circuitous torture, and causes major dysfunction, or is the sign of major dysfunction. Several years ago, when I first realized that modern Christianity played a large part in this awful game of no one is responsible,
“Hey look, I have a free ticket out and I don’t have to examine myself to see why I did that, ’cause Jesus forgave me and you have to, too!”
I went into deep prayer and contemplation, examining the scriptures to see if Yeshua had really been that short sighted. He had not been. In his teachings, one must take responsibility for one’s actions. It is, again, Paul whose prolific letters get us into a habit of saying things like, “Well, it was for your own good, you see.” when we make a mistake. It is Paul who puts the burden of the sins of the Gentiles squarely on the rabbinical shoulders of Y’shua.
Not only was it unfair to Y’shua, and the teachings that would have ultimately brought us into a wonderfully close relationship with the great “I Am”, it was unfair to the gentiles, for in shifting blame, always, and in not taking responsibility for one’s own actions, a person never grows up and becomes “perfect” that word should be “mature”, another little mistranslation that makes things ever so confusing.
We’re two millenia down the road and instead of “evolving” into the mature individuals it was the Rebbe’s hope we would become, we are now blaming our mothers for everything we have done all our lives. We don’t have to ask forgiveness, we don’t have to mature, our mothers forever stand in the box and must admit their horrible guilt for not letting little Tommy cross the road in front of that massive truck.
So . . . . .how do we break the chain of this game? Well, let’s go back. The Roman Catholics were not all wrong, you know. Admit culpability, “Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa”, examine what you have done, look at it with an eye for what in your actions would have improved the situation. Accept responsibility for your own mistakes and forgive others for theirs. If we do this, there is a hope that someday, we humans will grow up into the sentience we were designed to use in service to the One.